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justbeingaslut:

i just really hope all of you find someone who is really cool that you can love and have sex with and all that shit but you can also talk politics and about evolution. someone you don’t cling to at parties but you nonchalantly grab their ass when you walk by them in the crowd and someone you reach for at 2am in between dreams to cuddle.

crookednose:

minimum wage doesn’t even TOUCH a living wage, racism and sexism are alive and well, children are killed in schools on a regular basis, those who make it to college end up with hundreds of thousands in debt, our basic rights are being stripped from us daily, and adults actually believe that SELFIES are the cause for this generation’s demise


618,039 plays

durbikins:

For the past two days, this little dinosaur has been hitchhiking on my side mirror.image

And every time I go back to my car, he’s just chilling on top of the mirror, ready to go.

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The dude’s hella confused though. He sees himself in the mirror and tries to attract himself to himself

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And sometimes it looks like he fell off …

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nope!

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thebabbagepatch:

fearofpop:

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

horror movie opening scene

white girl:  i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
white boy:  come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
white girl:  you're just trying to scare me.
white boy:  lmao  they continue walking for a few seconds  *white couple hears noise*
white girl:  babe what that??
white boy:  i'll go investigate  *leaves her alone*  *choking noises*
white girl:  zack!!!
white boy:  ha ha just kidding!
white girl:  asshole!
white boy:  im just playin babe
white girl:  that wasnt funny but ur still cute  *playful kiss*  *things turn sexy*  *hear noise*
white boy:  i'll go investigate  *he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*  *maybe a thud*
white girl:  zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!  *she walks and he dead*
white girl:  ahhh!!  *killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
white girl:  ahhh!!!  *white girl runs*  *dead end*  *hides*  *thinks she free n safe*  *guy catches her*  *cuts her*  *she dead*
opening title slashes across screen:  BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D